Some reviews of "The Tourist"

 The first photo has nothing to do with the film except there is water like Venice has water.

I just happened to have the TV on showing the film ”The Tourist” from 2012. It did not get good reviews from the critics, even Ebert, who I usually trust, did not think much of it. Yet quite a lot of people seemed to have seen it and had enough interest  in it to want to write a review. There were 360 of them on 37 pages, I was one of them, it is my first on IMb?? Even The Ghost with Patrick Swayze had only 243 (25 pages)

Here is one of the positive ones, I love it:

” Ignore the trailers... and the critics. This isn't a thriller, and it never tries to be. It is, wholeheartedly, a comedy. Anyone who missed that must have been watching a different film, because it's funny - in fact, it's hysterical. But not because it's "so bad it's good". No, it's totally intentional. The lines are funny, the pauses are funny, the actors are funny... it's like a younger, slightly subtler, Venetian version of Red. What's not to like? 

We're all used to seeing Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie in dramatic roles - Finding Neverland, Public Enemies, The Changeling, A Mighty Heart... and it's so easy to forget that they can be funny. But they are, both of them. Johnny shines, as he always does. Angelina Jolie looks glorious, and when she smiles, the screen lights up. They don't have chemistry, critics say. Oh yes, they do, I say. More importantly, they seem to be enjoying themselves.
Johnny's Frank is delightful, touching and slightly mysterious. He has endless room to play around, and makes Frank memorable, and lovely, as only Johnny can. Angelina's role is more limiting, but she still makes it fresh and - yes - deeply amusing, parodying both herself and the genre in general. Watching her saunter around on her high heels, one can't help but recall what James Bond used to be like. This isn't Wanted or Salt: she has far more to do here than look cryptic and shoot people, and she does it very well.
Add to that the utterly magnificent Paul Bettany, Timothy Dalton, a few stereotypically dim Russian gangsters (they speak actual Russian, for once, and their funniest lines aren't subtitled) and Rufus Sewell, and there's no way you can go wrong.
Yes, there's a twist at the end - a twist that seemed to annoy most people. But does that take away from the film? No! It adds to it, because it's just so obvious, and natural, that it's all the funnier for it. 
This isn't an intellectual film. Nor does it try to be. It's a romp, a fun romp with two beautiful, endlessly talented actors, set in a beautiful city (which is shot so beautifully that it becomes like a separate character). So who cares how intellectual it is? This is a film that's genuinely entertaining, from start to finish. And if it's snowing where you are, you'll certainly appreciate the sunshine. Give it a chance!”

I think the person had the right idea of the film. I must say I injoyed it so I did not even wish to look for faults.

Here is one reason people disliked it. Maybe I should be happy I have not seen this:

”This movie is an almost word for word copy of the original french movie Anthony Zimmer. Even the characters names are similar:Alexander Pierce/Anthony Zimmer.”

Similar? Because both first names start with A?

” … I wasn't disappointed with the ending. I thought they could have cleaned up Depp's mustache and beard a little, and the whole time I wanted to take little scissors and snip the little hairs that were oddly hanging over his upper lip, only about two under each nostril. Needless to say, this bothered me and took away from the movie. I thought it was funny how in the beginning Jolie sauntered toward the café in her prim and proper dress, the way she shook her hips because she knew the police were watching her.”

Heh heh, I noticed that too but it did not bother me too much. Maybe it was the reason that for a few minutes I was not sure it was Depp, something was missing or in this case, there was something too much.

Now for the negative ones:

”This is one of the worst films I have ever seen. Simple as that! However, submitting a review dictates that I have to contribute a minimum of 10 lines of text so I shall expand a little. The plot is utter nonsense from start to finish. The writing is akin to something I used to produce in school when I was 9 .The acting is atrocious and that is by EVERYBODY in the cast. The direction is a cross between bad Bond and a Carry On film. Apparently this film was nominated for 3 golden globes - I guess it's not what you know...... Avoid this film like the plague - its 103 minutes of your life that you'll never get back!”

Never get back? You never get anything of it back whether it is good or bad. Also, he must have been quite a precocious child.

”A complete turkey. Trying to be Hitchcock - the innocent charmer gets tangled in an international gangster vendetta - but for goodness' sake, the action sequences are like slow-motion sports replays, and the romantic scenes are like adverts for discount furniture stores. Johnny Depp is supposed to be smitten by Angelina Jolie but looks more like he's smitten by diazepam, and Angelina Jolie looks like a Thunderbird puppet, only less animated and more wooden. Steven Berkoff gives us a new rhyming slang word, and the whole thing comes across as a 50 million dollar Ferreo Rocher advert. An atrocious waste of talent, money and most of all, time. Don't add yours to the pile of detritus.”

I really pity this person for not getting anything out of  it though he is right that  some of it imitates Hitchcock.

And this is the right way to view it:

”This is an entertaining, light-hearted film with brilliant visuals and great character acting: Angelina a mysterious nymph and Johnny as a bumbling tourist. Don't take it too seriously. It's a laugh. Enjoy :)”

I agree with the following though it goes a little to the other extreme.

”Oh my... This movie is so beautiful and charming! Put Deep and Angelinain one film, and Paris and Venice, can't be wrong. "The Tourist" is funny, sexy and very intriguing. You really want know what happened with Alexander Pierce and why Elise get involved with he. Johnny is brilliant, but Angelina Jolie is very hot! It time she return in a part sexy and provocative. And "Elise" is a different character for Angie, she is a lady, very elegant, quiet. Very different of Lara Croft, Jane Smith, Fox, Evelyn... Also, the movie's landscapes are lush! I confess: i don't expecting a great movie, or great history, but this movie surprised me. Really this movie don't is "movie for Oscar®", but he fulfill its duty: Guaranteed fun!”

The following three , again I am sorry for them. But Leslie Nielsen? That is going too far! But at least we go from a 9 years old to a college student.

”How bad is it? It "reads" like a Leslie Nielsen thriller parody. Wait... and even as a parody it wouldn't work.”

”If I knew better I would think the script was written as an exercise by a 1st year student in some community college in Oklahoma.”

”I'm devastated. This has ruined "The Lives of Others" for me, which up until two hours ago was one of my favorite movies. Everybody involved with this movie shouldn't be making films.”

The Lives of Others had the same director. Difficult to follow the logic, the other film has not changed, if he liked it before why should this change it?  

The fans can go too far sometimes. It is not a bad film but not one of the best ones either.

”This movie is more a work of art than a theatric presentation. Everything is absolute perfection, from scenery, to the color of Venice's waters (idealized), to casting, to every hair in place, to superlative acting, to timing, to a perfect train ride through a impossibly lovely countryside, to scrumptious scenery throughout, to perfect accents, melodically modulated voices and soundtrack.
Angelina (Elise) has not ever looked more flawless, acted more flawlessly, while Johnny Depp (Frank quintessentially summoned his unseemly man one can't help but fall in love with. Is there a human who doesn't love Johnny Depp? I don't think so.
They are never a step out of place. Smooth as glass, crystalline as diamonds, they dance through this movie together. The direction is... flawless.”

I am quite fond of Depp, but love him? Well… I loved Patrick Swayze. But  even ”The Ghost” had this review:

”Horrible

Without a doubt, the worst Oscar-winning performance ever. Whoopie Goldberg is terrible in this not-very-good-movie. Watch the scene in the bank with un-sexy Patrick Swayze. If you were put in that situation would you act that way? No. You would do your best to remain calm--listening to him while paying attention to the banker. She is totally hamming it up and it doesn't work. Bad acting by a bad actress in a bad movie.”